Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Secret Tindering

So using FakeGPS you can Tinder from anywhere! So let's Tinder for a second, just to let off steam, from the CIA/NSA Parking lot. Of course you want to do this with very small radius (1 mile) and with as broad a reach of ages and genders as possible. 

The CIA: There was only one!

And now from the NSA Parking lot! (There were a few more, which were not as funny.)

This is my Favorite Tinder Profile Ever.
He wants No Strings Attached at the NSA, was the pun I was reaching around for. Does "Undetectable" mean he works for TAO?
Probably on the NSA Quidditch team.

To be fair, the NSA ones were 2 miles away, so maybe just from nearby. Someone should write a bot to do this and make a feed of it somewhere. :)

Friday, May 22, 2015

Chicks Bumbling Their Game.

What no dating book will tell you (more on this later) is that dating, like fishing, is all about location. When my friends who are women in their forties ask me anything about dating, the only real answer is to move to Columbia MD, or Silicon Valley. There's literally no competition there. Let me illustrate this with the support of "Big Data" (no, that's not a nickname for my penis, but shit, NOW it is):

Compare and Contrast: Columbia Maryland, home of the NSA

vs. Miami Beach Florida

I didn't pick these as some sort of trick. That's basically the results of a random sample. Yesterday I sat next to a guy in a bar some of my friends own in Columbia MD (90% male, because this bar is inhabited entirely by employees of the NSA).
Me in this bar sending the message loud and clear of  "I desperately need a haircut and more sleep." 
Anyways, he was a moderately good looking Air Force guy alone at the bar (good looking enough to the point that I thought he was gay), using an app only available for the iPhone called "Bumble." Bumble is a 99% clone of Tinder, except guys cannot message girls first. So girls have to message them. There's no way a girl can lose in Maryland normally, but 90% of his 127 contacts failed on the first message by asking the same thing: "How was your day/week?" If instead they'd said any of the things the Miami Tinder samples above had said, they'd have been golden. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I'm going to steal that opener.

I'm dating a girl now who has RIDICULOUS levels of game. She was just born with it. In PUA terms, she's a "natural". And I live with the Michael Jordan of Chick Game, who's typically dating 1-3 random stars, ranging from comedians to pro athletes. But most girls, as demonstrated by Bumble, have none of this, and my new theory is that it doesn't normally matter, until they reach age 35 or so, and all of a sudden it matters a lot.

Friday, May 15, 2015


So I turned 39 and what you do as an adult is go out and drink and then go out for dinner. All my friends except one at this dinner are married. Of course one thing they do have in abundance is single, attractive, female friends in their early forties, who all have basically impossible times trying to find a mate or even a date. I made them show me Facebook pictures, just to prove they were actually attractive.

Weirdly enough I also have more than one guy friend my age dating a 19 year old. I don't know how that relationship works, but they apparently do.

These two facts are linked, but I'm not sure how!

Monday, May 4, 2015

The Edges

You're not going to learn anything interesting about humans by looking at the top of the bell curve. You have to look at the tips, where the sample sizes are smaller so quantum effects can start having their way with things.

But likewise, things are more interesting at the edges. So read this blog now from this girl I met in SF. It's grittier and funnier than my dating blog, that's for sure.

And here's an unrelated picture of my roomate J in my kitchen with a scary knife that has a sharp edge.

"Be afraid, be very afraid. Especially if you are a squash."