Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Guest Post from B

Actual picture of B.

So I got B the weirdest/best gift any roomate has ever gotten their roomate: The Satisfyer Pro 2. Look, if there were major advancements in guy masturbation technology, I'd be all over it, except when girls come over you cannot be like "Hey, here is my Fleshlite Pro 2" whereas guys don't care if a girl has a collection that requires its own walk in closet.

Anyway's this is a special guest post TOY REVIEW from B

Helllloooo everyone!

B here. So you've heard that I've been blessed with a new toy. When DaveDave (yes, that's what I call him) bought me this, I was going through a very sad break-up-state-of-mind and of course Dave bought the ONE thing that should (and did) bring any woman out of that funk. I had no idea what my gift was before, and even when I opened it. DaveDave explained to me that this toy had a special "suction" technique that made it an amazing toy. I'll admit it took me a few days, maybe a couple of weeks to use it partly because I wasn't interested in masturbating at all, and also because I didn't know what the fuck to do with it. The day finally comes that I need a sense of release. I keep a small bag with the label "turn me on" on it with a few small toys in it, one including this new gadget. My obsession begins. If any ladies are reading this, I can't even explain to you how out of the world amazing this toy is. Let me repeat...AMAZING. If I never have a boyfriend again, I'll be good.

LADIES: Imagine a man going down on you and knowing exactly what to do. Which we all know, says a lot. Take the usual amount of 10-15 minutes and halve that. Even less. That's how wonderful this toy is. Not to mention an experience of being a part of the "personal water sports" that I've only been a part of twice in my lifetime. THAT GOOD.

MEN: My apologies.

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